No one can deny that body language plays a crucial role in catching girls' attention-and keeping it. Nearly *75%* of signals women send is through body language--so you're not going to find out if she's into you from words alone! Unfortunately, many men miss out on these signals, and thus miss out on the girl. The good news is, if you CAN read a girl's signals, you stand out from the rest of guys, and make yourself all the more attractive! With that said, here are 6 signs that she's not into you, and 10 signs that she is!
BAD BODY LANGUAGE
1. Not making eye contact with you—looking around, eyeing her friends, looking anywhere but at you
2. Legs crossed—always a bad sign. This means she's closing herself off to you
3. Arms crossed—This can convey annoyance and impatience. Definitely a bad sign.
4. Hands on her hips—This can also convey impatience. Not looking good.
5. Leaning backwards—It's much better when a woman is leaning towards you. If you notice her leaning away from you, keeping her distance, it means you've gotten too close for her comfort and she's not that into you, at least at this point.
6. A weak handshake—Do you shake a girl's hands when you meet her? If you do and notice that hers is weak and she is quick to take back her hand, then she's not very impressed.
GOOD BODY LANGUAGE
1. She looks down when you see her and smiles-A very good sign. She's shy but wants you to come over to talk to her.
2. She's twirling her hair around-Definitely into you.
3. Licks her lips-unless you can tell she's screwing with you, this is a very good sign!
4. Open legs-Open legs, open mind. She's open to hearing more from you-and who knows what else.
5. Sideways glance-The classic Hollywood flirtation, this is a coy, seductive way of showing her interest
6. Fondling a cylindrical object (cigarette, glass, etc.)-VERY good sign! And a hint of what she may have in mind for later on in the evening…
7. Fondling her shoe (shoe is slight off her foot, twisting her foot in circles)-This is that classic shy signal that girls use to display interest.
8. The "leg twine"-one leg pressed hard against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone-very good sign
9. The head toss-If she tosses her hair back over her shoulders, this is definitely a good gesture.
10. Exposed wrists-If she's interested in you, she will gradually display the smooth, soft skin of her wrists to a guy she's interested in. Wrists are actually considered one of the more erotic areas of the body-so if she's showing you this sexual area-go for it!
Hope these tips help you out. Remember, none of this will do you any good if you don't follow up on it! If a girl is showing interest, it's up to you to take the next step and show your attraction BACK to her. Tune in to my next article on what YOU as a man must do to successfully attract female attention, using flirtatious body language. Because it's your turn!
James Brito is the author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women." His years of dating experience and
international travel have tutored him in the art of meeting and seducing women the world over. His immersion in international dating circles brings forth a gritty, no-nonsense approach to dating and developing relationships necessary for the modern single man.
Learn more about how to attract the woman of your dreams at:
www.000relationships.com/towomen/
James Brito makes it easy to attract and build honest relationships with the women you want. To receive your free 6-part audio mini-course, please visit:
www.000relationships.com/towomen/
It's a question every guy asks himself, every guy struggles with at some point or another, every guy desperately wants to know the answer to:
WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?
The answer isn't easy to come by. There are as many answers as there are types of women: young, old; fat, skinny; talkative, quiet; beautiful…not so beautiful. They all want different things, different men for their different personalities. It's enough to drive a man crazy! We want to know so badly what it is women desire that Hollywood addressed the age-old question with the movie "What Women Want" (which, I'm embarrassed to say, I enjoyed).
So, surely…there must be something ALL women want?
That's the good news: There are certain qualities every woman can appreciate. And as men, that's what we need to focus on most. Not on what we THINK they want, but on what we can KNOW they want. Maybe we think being 6′5", wealthy, and jacked like a football player is what every woman wants, but (thankfully) it's not. Only certain women want that, and the groupies who only want a millionaire athlete on steroids usually aren't even worth your time.
It's better to focus on the girls YOU really want: the girls who make you feel good, and make you a better man. Empower yourself with a sense of choice, so that you don't waste your time (and theirs) hitting on girls who don't fit with your personality and purpose. The great news is, if you can provide the basic qualities that all women REALLY desire, then getting the girl of your dreams will be easy!
So let's look at some things we can safely say women want in a man-regardless of his size, regardless of his looks, regardless of his wealth.
1. A demonstrative value. That is, women want to know that their man is someone other women would want. They want a certain "gotta have" quality about their man. This is why, when we go out with a girlfriend, women give us looks and always seem more interested. It's annoying but true: the easiest way to get a girl, is to have one already!
Naturally, that doesn't mean that you should be hitting on girls when you have a girlfriend. No way! But when you are single, it's important to know how to show value. I've got a great lesson on this in my e-book that will show you everything you need to know: how to make her laugh, how to show a talent, and how to make sure she never leaves you.
There's so much to learn, but in short, you want to be a guy girls love to be around, and that other girls want to have! If you don't feel like you're there right now, do your best to be a fun-loving guy who people enjoy being around. Be quick with a smile, and quick with a joke. Even a guy who smiles a lot can be someone girls want. Who doesn't enjoy being around someone who's happy, who lifts the mood of the room?
2. A man who needs her…but not too much. This can greatly value from girl to girl, but basically women DO want to feel appreciated. They just don't want to be obsessed over. Guys, show interest in a woman, and make her feel beautiful and wanted…but don't slave over her and make her feel like you can't live without her. That's just pathetic, and drives women away.
I wrote a blog on how women want to feel needed. Check it out now if you want to find out how to show your woman the right amount of love.
3. A feeling of security. Women want to feel safe with a man. They want to know that everything's gonna be all right. This doesn't mean you have to be huge and strong, or have millions in the bank. It just means you have to talk reassuringly to her, look after her safety, and assure her when she needs it that things are going to be OK.
It also means coming to her protection, when she needs it. If someone is being a jerk to her, stand up for her. If she's being threatened, fight for her. Let her know that you will fight for her, and nothing will get in your way.
One of the best ways to make her feel confident that you will protect her, of course, is to be…
4. A guy who's in shape. Okay, I said that you don't have to be a professional rugby player to attract women, but that doesn't mean you should let your body slide! Part of a woman's evolutionary mechanism says that a man who is strong will protect her and the children, as well as produce strong children. Likewise, a man who is weak will produce weak children, and not be able to protect the family as well (if at all) It may occur subconsciously, but it's there.
So show her your value by being a guy who's well-built, healthy, and athletic. Join a gym, not just to get women but to improve your health and the way you see yourself. Join a martial arts class-who doesn't like a guy who can kick some ass? You'll feel better about yourself, making it easier to pick up girls, and her mating drive will only naturally attract her to you. It's a win-win situation!
5. Someone who's not boring. Doesn't matter how good looking you are…if you bore a woman to tears, she's not gonna stick around-or even give you a chance, for that matter. Be someone who smiles. Someone who's quick with a laugh. Someone who doesn't take life too seriously, who lets loose. That shows a lot more value than a guy who's stiff and serious-even if he is good looking or wealthy. Believe me, there are lots of guys who have money, who have good looks-but are single, because they're dull and not fun to be around.
6. Someone who's good with her friends. You've seen it at bars: girls always look to their friends for their approval. Get their friends' approval, and you get the girl's approval.
Oftentimes it's actually best to concentrate on getting to know the girl's group of friends before you spend time talking to her. If you can make her friends laugh and enjoy your company, getting the girl you want will be a piece of cake!
I really like this piece of advice from Joseph Matthews, aka Thundercat, author of The Art of the Approach, in his free e-newsletter: "Meeting women when they are with their friends is WAY easier than waiting for when they are alone! This is because women with friends feel safe and relaxed, so their defenses aren't up."
Furthermore, he warns that you're not doing your chances any favors by waiting til she's alone: "If you wait until she's by herself to meet her, you're walking into a situation where she's going to be WAY more defensive than usual." So learn to be sociable, and just have fun with her friends! If you can make them enjoy your company, getting your "target's" approval will be a piece of cake.
This is also where it's good to go with girls in the same social network as you…you already have the approval of mutual friends. The book, Sex in America, says that 60% of married couples meet through friends, work, or mutual activities. For more information on using networking to your benefit, click here.
Finally, the trait all women REALLY want: 7. A man with a purpose. Believe me, women don't expect every guy they meet to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars, have more power than the mayor, and be more handsome than Brad Pitt. They don't expect you to be wildly successful. But they DO want you to be headed towards success. They DO want you to have direction. They DO want you to be living up to your potential. And those aren't bad expectations to have! Remember, "Behind every great man is a great woman." You may not be at the top just yet, but as long as you're heading there, with goals in life, you're bound to attract women. And more importantly, reach your own personal success.
I highly suggest you read "The Way of the Superior Man," by David Deida. It details the importance of having a life purpose, both for you and for your girlfriend or wife. The book also explains the very important idea that if someone doesn't fit into your purpose, or detracts you from it, then she isn't worth your time. As I said above, don't just go for any old girl: go for the ones who fit YOU, and who make YOU a better person. That's what we men should really want!
I hope all of this advice helps you out as you seek to improve yourself and attract the women who matter to you. Remember that it isn't important to know what the bimbo who wants to spend all your money wants: it's important to know what women who want to be with you want. Empower yourself by being choosy, and you'll be sure to attract the woman who's right for you.
Finally, for more information on attracting the specific women you really want, check out my e-book and audio series. Thanks for reading!
James Brito, author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women," has helped thoudands of men world-wide build confidence and find love. To receive his free six-part audio mini-course, visit:
http://www.000relationships.com
Because it's YOUR turn!
In my previous column, I talked about how girls are more inclined to give off, and notice, body signals than guys, and are ALWAYS looking for signs from us guys, as well. Since then a lot of guys have been asking me what we men should do for body language, so this column will give you the answers.
You have to remember that whatever you say, however you gesture your hands, arms, head, and eyes, women are NOT taking your movements at face value. If she jokes with you and you lightly push her away as if to say "Stop", she's taking that simple gesture as something more: interest, dis-interest, enjoyment, annoyance-any of a million different signals. She's reading it for further suggestions as to what kind of guy you are, and what your interest in her is. Know that with body language, girls are always reading the way you move and act!
Here are my "Lucky Seven" best ways to show interest:
The confident eye gaze
The "Dale Head Drop"
Smile!
Open body language
Lean in to her
Thumbs in belt
Touch her
Let's look at each in more detail:
1. The confident eye gaze
This is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl's eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you've made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn't smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.
2. The Dale Head Drop
So named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl-and show some balls-meet a girl's eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, "Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!" I've found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more-but it still works!
3. Smile!
It's often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you're in control, show her you're confident, show her you're a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It's good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!
4. Open Body Language
So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You'll not only attract yourself into a girl's world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend-or even wife!
5. Lean in to her
As you're talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer. You don't want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl's body language and talk how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation-and interest in her-by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you're unconfident and not overly interested. Not what you want to communicate.
6. Thumbs in belt
Ever put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips' side? This is processed as a sign of being confident in one's sexuality and size. So if you're standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls!
7. Touch her!
Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch. Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you'll have to eventually show some balls and touch her. I'm not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she's flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place. By making a physical connection, you're giving her a sign loud and clear that you're confident in yourself and interested in her.
James Brito is the author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women." His years of dating experience and international travel have tutored him in the art of meeting and seducing women the world over. His immersion in international dating circles brings forth a gritty, no-nonsense approach to dating and developing relationships necessary for the modern single man.
Learn more about how to attract the woman of your dreams at:
www.000relationships.com